


Dm me

by L4sht0n



Series: Slide into my dm's boi [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Funny, M/M, Texting, ashton's not in the band, cute but long, cute texting au, low-key random
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 08:44:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17895266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/L4sht0n/pseuds/L4sht0n
Summary: Ashton was added into a group chat by his friend Michael, little did he know the group consisted of 5 seconds of summer's members.





	Dm me

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this on Wattpad @-Night-Stalker-  
> This was a birthday one-shot for one of my best friends, that turned into a two-shot, lmao.

Ashton: Ok, but really Michael idk tbh

Michael: Ash, you're supposed to know you're the smart one

Calum: I thought I was the smart one

Michael: Yes, thought. Sorry pal.

Calum: Well, fuck you

Calum: Luke thinks I'm smart, right Luke

Luke: I'm not here to discuss Calum's low I.Q

Calum: At least I think I'm smart, and I don't need your guys' opinion. Love yourself so no one has to

Luke: yesssss atl references

Calum: THEY'RE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!

Calum: ARROGANT BOY

Calum: CAUSE A SCENE LIKE YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO

Calum: YOU'RE LUCKY IF YOUR MEMORY REMAINS

Michael: Cal, can you stfu I'm talking to Ashton

Luke: who tf is Ashton?

Ashton: me

Luke: how tf did you appear in our group chat?

Michael: I invited him

Luke: Michael wtf this is the legendary group chat of the three musketeers

Luke: three! 3! Not 4!

Ashton: ah well then you can leave the chat then

Ashton: That way it'll be three

Luke: I'm pretty sure the 3 musketeers was best friends, you don't even know Calum and how stupid he can be

Calum: yeah

Calum: wait

Calum: stfu luke, u r the stupid 1 here

Luke: I'm not the one who's incapable of writing

Michael: Can you both shut up?

Michael: I was talking to Ashton

Ashton: but I don't know what the earth loneliest creature is???

Calum: the obvious answer is Michael on a Friday's night.

Luke: actually it's a whale who's calling out for a mate, and has done that for two decades. However the whale's voice is high pitched, which leads to no one wanting to reply.

Calum: aka when Michael try to flirt through texts

Michael: who are you and what have you done with Luke?

Calum: yeah, we want stupid Luke back

Luke: stfu guys, I can be smart

Michael: says the guy who didn't finish high school

Luke: you didn't do it either

Calum: Can you guys stop being idiots, we have different matters to discuss.

Michael: ooo Calum's using fancy, big words

Ashton: Michael can I leave this chat?

Luke: yes

Michael: no

Calum: can you guys shut up, we need to get the old Luke back

Luke: Ashton I know idk you, but can I get your friends? Mine's broken

Ashton: no thanks, I heard Calum is just like Michael. I don't need two Michael's in my life.

Michael: I can't believe that Luke wanted to replace us

Calum: He can't replace us if we replace him first

Calum: Ashton, you're our new bestie

Ashton: What if I don't want to be your new "bestie"?

Calum: You have no choice

Luke: Do I have a say in that matter?

Ashton: yes

Michael: no

Luke: fine, I don't need you

Luke: Ashton, you're now my new best friend

Ashton: Does no one even care that I don't want a new best friend?

Calum: no

Michael: no

Luke: But ash :------(

Luke: If you're not my new best friend Mike and Cal will win

Ashton: I don't care

Luke: stop being mean

Ashton: why the nose?

Luke: It's cuter with the nose

Ashton: no it's not???

Luke: it looks more human? You'd probably look creepy without a nose

Ashton: you don't know what I look like??

Michael: yeah Ashton looks creepy with and without a nose

Ashton: gee thanks

Calum: tbh idc about smileys with or without noses. All I want to know is how Luke became smart

Luke: no one who cares what Mike wanted with that fact anyway??

Ashton: uh yesss

Calum: so Michael.

Calum: talk.

Michael: I was trying to make a pick-up line

Luke: no, not more of your homemade pick-up lines. They are the worst!!! Spare us.

Ashton: Even I know they are bad

Calum: we're not talking bad. He is the guy who invented the famous "are you a trampoline, cause I'd jump on you."

Michael: stfu ur all jealous

Michael: and it worked sooo

Luke: the closest you got to a girl when you tried that one, was when she punched you.

Ashton: Can't you just idk google pick-up lines?

Michael: noo, they are cliché

Luke: better safe than sorry

Ashton: that's what my mom said to me about condoms

Calum: she has a point tho

Luke: yeah, I ain't having none of you babies or STD's

Calum: um Luke you know you're a man right. You can't get pregnant.

Luke: I know that, I'm not dumb!!

Luke: my point was that I'm too young and sexy to get a baby with someone now. I'm the middle of my growing career I don't want a screaming toddler to ruin it.

Michael: but you're gay so???

Luke: I can still get sexual diseases. Like no thank you.

Ashton: this group chat is a wreck

Michael: thank you

Luke: we try our best :-P

Calum: You understand that these two ^ are the idiots right. I'm a poor victim

Michael rich victim**

Ashton: Luke why with the nose?

Luke: why not??

Ashton: it supposed to be like this :( :/ :P :|

Luke: :-( :-/ :-P :-| :^(

Ashton: it looks uglier with a nose

Luke: just like you

Ashton: you're probably not a sight either

Luke: I am sexy!

Ashton: I bet everyone you meet has to wear glasses because you're looks makes their eyesight go bad.

Calum: yikes

Luke: blinded by my beauty

Ashton: in your dreams

Luke: I don't need anybody's opinion if I look good or not, I know I'm sexy af

Ashton: yes Luke, you're sexy

Ashton: compared to a rat

Michael: wow no hate on rats

Ashton: yeah, I know it was offensive to compare them

Ashton: to luke.

Luke: I bet I'm sexier than you!

Ashton: Oh yeah??

Luke: yeah!!

Ashton: Oh yeah?????

Luke: yeah!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah?????????????????????????????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: Bring it (last name) idek your last name but it's probably ugly like ur face

Calum: ITS HEMMINGS

Michael: LUKE ROBERT HEMMINGS

Luke: wow thanks guys

Luke: I was born ready idk ur last name either, but it's probably something sad like ur life

Michael: ASHTON FLETCHER IRWIN

Ashton: wow, thanks a lot asshole

Ashton: guess who's gonna eat the entire pizza, alone?

Calum: did someone say pizza? I'm in

Luke: I'm in it to win it, Irwin

Ashton: game on, Hemmings

Luke: who names their kid Fletcher? Bahahaha

Ashton: like Robert is any better??

Luke: Well the best one tbh is Michael, Gordon

Ashton: yeah never fails to crack me up

Calum: I know it's eggcellent

Calum: get it?? Cause you said crack, and I wanted to make an egg joke.

Ashton: leave. Just leave.

Michael: haters gonna hate

Calum: HATE, HATE, AND THE FAKERS GONNA FAKE FAKE FAKE. I'M JUST GONNA SHAKE, SHAKE SHAKE

Calum: I SHAKE IT OFF I SHAKE IT OFF WOHO.

Ashton: that's an old song

Calum: so is your mother

Luke: I can tell you what's new tho

Luke: Ashton's brain

Ashton: yes really funny luke

Luke: I see you have come to some sort of sense

Ashton: it's called sarcasm look it up

Luke: wow ashy with the good comeback, you probably think you're the shit rn. Feeling pretty good about yourself, but guess what – that line is so cliché.

Ashton: at least I can serve a comeback

Luke: loser

Ashton: idiot

Luke: jerk

Ashton: bitch

Luke: slut

Ashton: hoe

Luke: dick

Ashton: pussy

Luke: asshole

Ashton: moron

Michael: aww they love each other

Calum: I ship it

Luke: donkey

Ashton: limp noodle

Luke: fat ogre

Ashton: dimwit

Luke: pea-brain

Ashton: dummy

Luke: jackass

Ashton: twit

Michael: can you guys please stop??

Calum: it's getting annoying

Luke: horse-face

Michael: I'm kicking you out of the group if you continue

Luke: please don't I'll be good

Ashton: people pleaser

Luke: Fight me you, loser.

Ashton: there's a reason my last name ends with win.

Luke: I'm taller than you

Ashton: Oh yeah??

Luke: yeah!!

Ashton: Oh yeah?????

Luke: yeah!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah?????????????????????????????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: Oh yeah????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Luke: yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ashton: fine how fucking tall are you then? 5'1?

Luke: I'm 6'4

Ashton: fuck

Calum: yeah luke is this tall boi, but he's a noodle tbh

Luke: Ashton how tall are you?

Ashton: ....

Ashton: 6 feet

Luke: HELLL YE IM A WINNER BABY

Ashton: tall doesn't equal sexy or smart

Luke: short equals grumpy

Michael: as much as I want to see lashton flirt, there are still matters that need to be discussed

Calum: Lashton?

Calum: Luke + Ashton = Lashton??

Calum: Nice, I like it

Luke: Mike, you can't give me and my nemesis a ship name

Ashton: bruhh first you want me out of the chat, then I'm our best friend and now I'm your nemesis?? decide bitch

Luke: stop being a moody teen

Ashton: And I'm the moody teen??

Calum: I ship lashton

Michael: yeah me too

Ashton: shut up malum

Luke: Malum? Hm good one

Michael: well that backfired

Michael: ANYWAY

Michael: Luke has yet to tell us how he got smart

Luke: I've always been smart, but you and cal are bellow my high IQ, so I go into dummy modus, when I'm talking to you

Ashton: you liar

Luke: who you callin' a liar, liar

Michael: Luke can you tell us, and the truth this time

Luke: I am smart. It's the truth???

Calum: no you're fucking not

Luke: well fuck you mate

Michael: I'd fuck cal

Ashton: Mike????

Luke: oh god

Michael: what do you think I needed the pick-up line for?

Ashton: ...

Luke: ...

Calum: ...

Luke: well it's not like cal would mind

Ashton: oh god

Ashton. This chat is so messed up

Michael: IM JUST TRYING TO KNOW HOW LUKE KNEW ABOUT THE WHALE FFS

Calum: I looked it up, and it's actually true

Michael: wOW

Luke: of course it's true

Luke: I ain't no liar

Ashton: can you just tell us and then we can leave before we're all to traumatized

Luke: I watched some nature program, and they spoke of the whale and it stuck ig

Michael: I thought the story would be more interesting

Calum: yeah bro, im a little disappointed

Luke: too bad

Ashton: Are we gonna ignore the malum?

Luke: No

Michael: Yes

Calum: There's nothing to talk about???

Ashton: But there is everything to talk about

Luke: Can you guys just fuck or make-out, whichever you prefer

Calum: LUKE

Michael: I'm down

Calum: no you're not, stfu

Calum: stop joking

Michael: I'm not

Calum: You told me you were straight

Michael: bisexual**

Calum: you never told me that???

Michael: you were drunk

Calum: yes tell Calum when he's drunk, he'll surely remember

Michael: whatever

Calum: it doesn't matter cause we're not making out

Michael: why not??

Calum: we both know were not actually down for it

Michael: ????

Calum: stop making malum seem real

Michael: I don't make it seem real if it's real

Luke: you have a gf?

Michael I don't need a gf, I have Calum

Calum: you tell 'em honeypie

Ashton: I ship Malum

Luke: yeah same

Ashton: yeah

Luke: Michael, do you mean you broke up with your gf?

Calum: no

Michael: yes

Ashton: what? What happened, you were great together

Michael: apparently I wasn't the love of her life

Michael: so what you say Calum

Calum: stop it Michael, we're not gonna make-out

Michael: it's not gay if no one knows

Calum: no

Michael: I'll even tell people that my ex gave me hickeys

Calum: no!?

Luke: Michael stop being a horny, desperate bitch. Calum stop being a rejecting hoe

Calum: I'm not gonna be a booty call

Michael: who said anything about being a booty call??

Calum: bruhh you should get laid

Michael: I'm trying

Ashton: so it was true. Mike is the earth loneliest creature when he try to flirt, especially through texts

Calum: unlike someone I'm not a liar

Luke: Are you calling me a liar???

Calum: I ain't calling you a truther

Luke: are you ready for a fight???

Calum: I was born ready

Luke: when you fight me you'll most likely die, so you have to ask yourself

Luke: do I feel lucky. Now do you, punk?

Calum: you are weak, I can take you every day

Luke: that's it I'm coming over

Ashton: Luke please stop picking fights with everyone

Luke: Do you want to fight?

Michael: point proven ^

Calum: yeah Luke is such an idiot

Michael: but he's our idiot

Calum: yeah like a cute, but messed up son

Michael: If he's our son, how do you feel of kicking him out

Calum: out of the house or band

Michael: whichever you prefer

Calum: how about both

Luke: I can read everything you know right

Michael: I like that idea, mi amigo

Calum: we'd be so better off without luke

Michael: I know right. Now we can be like Twenty One Pilots, but cooler

Calum: hey no hate on TØP

Michael: No, nothing but respect for my presidents

Calum: but if we kick Luke out of the band, we don't have lead singer

Michael: damn it

Michael: I guess we have to keep him

Calum: it was a nice thought tho

Ashton: When I say Malum you say:

Luke: ehh idek

Luke: ship??

Ashton: good enough

Luke: But Michael when did Crystal break up with you? Why haven't you told us? Do you want me and Cal you keep you company? Ashton can buy you ice cream.

Calum: HEY why do I have to come along?

Luke: cause you're his fucking best friend, that's why

Ashton: Why do I have to buy him ice cream?

Luke: I don't want to spend my money on mike

Ashton: and I will???

Luke: stfu

Michael: I'm fine, ok

Calum: bullshit

Michael: We broke up a few days ago, no biggie. Why I haven't told you? Because I knew you'd making a big deal out of it. And I don't need anything, tho ice cream would be nice.

Luke: Who's making a big deal of this? I'm suuuuuper casual. Yeah, soo casual. I don't even get what you're talking about. You're the one making a fuss.

Ashton: luke I fucking hate you. I don't want to buy ice cream

Luke: I don't care. Hating me doesn't buy ice cream any faster

Ashton: I'm gonna punch you when I see you

Luke: Hah nice try, you don't know what I look like

Calum: here is a picture of Luke

Calum: (picture)

Ashton: oh

Luke: I look sexy

Ashton: ok

Michael: I DON'T SEE ASHTON DENYING IT

Luke: that's because I'm good looking

Ashton: Well he didn't look bad

Luke: I'll take that as a compliment, Ashton probably don't know how to give proper one

Ashton: I do know how to give a compliment

Luke: mhm sure, princess

Ashton: I do! Just watch

Ashton: Michael, you're very talented. Your talents include irritating me, being stupid, traumatize me and make everyone question everything

Luke: very good Ash

Ashton: thanks Luke

Luke: it's called sarcasm look it up, sweetheart

Calum: when I say: lashton, you say?

Michael: ship?

Calum: idek tbh

Ashton: it's weird how idk and idek is different. I know that it means: I don't know and I don't even know, but still.

Ashton: But I actually know how to give someone a real compliment.

Luke: I know Ashton, I just watched you in action

Michael: that can be taken the wrong way

Ashton: Michael, I like your hair

Michael: thank you!

Ashton: see.

Luke: So ig that just means I'm ugly in ur eyes, ok then

Ashton: I didn't say that

Luke: You didn't tell me otherwise

Ashton: I said you didn't look bad??

Luke: it's the same thing as saying: like yeah you can draw better than a stickman, but you're no artist

Ashton: Fine, you are hot.

Luke: I KNEW YOU THOUGHT I WAS HOT

Ashton: Kinda

Ashton: I meant you're kinda hot

Calum: stop referring to our songs

Michael: Lashton gone canon, not clickbait

Calum: And Michael stop trying to sound like youtube videos

Ashton: wait wait wait

Ashton: you are in a band???

Luke: wait you didn't know?

Calum: we're like famous???

Ashton: I knew Michael play guitar in a band and that he travel with them and stuff. But he doesn't like to brag about it

Calum: that's Mikey

Luke: well consider yourself lucky, you now kinda know 5 Seconds of Summer

Ashton: wait THE 5 Seconds of Summer

Calum: I KNEW YOU'D HEARD ABOUT US

Michael: the one and only

Luke: How did you not know before now? Michael and Calum was discussing kicking me out of the band.

Luke: I don't think I'm the stupid one here

Ashton: wow I can't deal with this, this so much

Ashton: you are famous

Ashton: You're all celebrities

Ashton: wow

Calum: We're just the same guys we were five minutes ago

Ashton: I know, but it still so @?#!()3

Ashton: and so ASFD53V4

Ashton: and yeah, you get my point

Calum: I don't think I do

Ashton: And to answer your question Luke, I didn't pay much attention. When Michael starts spamming and talking bullshit, I just tune out.

Michael: gee thanks

Ashton: I don't care go do the frickle frackle with Calum or something

Calum: I'm not gonna be a booty call

Michael: how about a booty Cal

Luke: even my jokes aren't that bad

Michael: but it worked

Calum: no it didn't

Michael: damn it

Ashton: I'm not over that you're the 5sos

Ashton: you're like 1d only Australian and awkward

Luke: what do you mean by awkward?

Ashton: idk, you just seem like wanting really bad to be punk rock, wanting more boy fans, but miserably failing and going soft and pop

Ashton: like the cute kid who wants to be tough even tho he's just a kitten or something

Luke: so you think we're cute?

Ashton: I didn't say that

Ashton: I thought celebrities would be cooler, but y'all just a bunch of weird kids

Luke: Who you calling weird, dimwit

Calum: yeah you little twit

Michael: you fucking lonely whale with sprinkles imma stab you

Ashton: and that's not weird ^

Calum: Dammit Michael, we had it really well going for us

Luke: Actually we didn't

Ashton: Actually you didn't

Michael: lol twins

Luke: at least were not A4

Ashton: I never think you ever will be

Calum: awe you think we're special <3

Ashton: it wasn't meant as compliment, but you do you

Calum: ...

Michael: I can do you ;)

Luke: ;-) **

Ashton: stop with the nose

Luke: what has it ever done to you

Ashton: nothing, but it's ugly!

Luke: I can't believe you go for people with looks

Ashton: uh no. I go for people with looks AND money

Calum: Basically Luke

Luke: well that's seems a little shallow

Luke: so we're just ignoring the Malum

Ashton: No, we're talking about that

Luke: I swear they're practically eye fucking every fucking interview, band practice, concert or whenever they are in the same room.

Calum: WE DO NOT DO THAT

Michael: YEAH THAT IS NOT TRUE, I JUST REALISED CAL LOOKS KINDA HOT RECENTLY

Luke: You've been going on for ages!!

Calum: Michael please don't call me kinda hot, when we wrote a song about that

Michael: HE'S KINDA HOT THO

Michael: YEAH HE'S KINDA HOT THO

Michael: WHEN YOU GOT BIGGER PLANS THAT NO ELSE UNDERSTANDS

Luke: I swear Calum eye rape Michael twice a day

Ashton: Michael tbh you talk a lot about this Calum, you rarely talk about Luke. I've never heard of him. He's just "my other friend".

Michael: ew why would I talk about Luke?

Luke: wow, thanks a lot. You're a real friend Mike

Ashton: Can't you guys don't just do the do

Calum: I'm not gonna be a rebound, or some booty call, just because Michael is horny

Luke: But if you weren't. Would you date him then???

Calum: Does it matter?

Ashton: yes, duh

Calum: Maybe :/

Luke: MALUM IS SO FUCKING REAL, I KNEW IT

Calum: we aren't even dating?

Luke: but you will

Calum: uhh no

Luke: why not? You're not gonna be a rebound if that's what you're worried about

Calum: How can it not be a rebound? He just broke up with his girlfriend.

Luke: because he had feelings for you before he started dating Crystal

Calum: mhm, and why did he start dating Crystal?

Luke: because he weren't aware of them

Luke: Just like you aren't aware you like him too

Calum: aha, sure lukey

Calum: if we're using that kind of logic, you aren't aware of your feelings towards Ashton.

Luke: Dude, I've never even met this guy. I don't even know what he look like. I just started talking to him

Michael: I will make your wish come true

Michael: #fairygodmother

Luke: what wish?

Michael: here's picture of Ash :)

Michael: (picture)

Ashton: Michael why did you do that??

Michael: luke said he didn't know what you looked like, so I fixed it

Luke: oh, you would be pretty creepy without a nose

Ashton; FIGHT ME YOU BITCH

Luke: you're still sexy

Luke: but I'm sexier

Luke: you're more of the cute sexy

Ashton: I am very offended

Ashton: I am manly, heavy metal, cars, trucks, football. Grrhhh

Luke: you just sound like cutie to me

Calum: Michael do you hear what I'm hearing

Michael: wedding music :)

Luke: for your wedding?

Michael: no! 4 ur & ash's

Calum: good spelling m8

Michael: stfu

Calum: tbh I think Lashton will end up dating within the month

Michael: wanna bet? I say three weeks

Calum: you're on

Michael: loser buys the winner pizza

Calum: I'm cool with that

Ashton: we're not gonna date????

Luke: I don't even like him like that. No pfft nope. Not even close

Ashton: yeah and it would be so weird if we would date

Luke: yeahhhh sooo weird

Ashton: yeahh

Ashton: good thing we're not dating, and never will

Luke: couldn't agree more

Ashton: it would be weird, we're nothing alike

Luke: you took the words out of my mouth

Ashton: technically we aren't speaking so??

Luke: yeah but took the words right out of my fingers typing on the key board sound weird

Ashton: weirder than us dating lol

Luke: good we agree on that

Michael: they are so in denial

Calum: In the deniall

Michael: stop with ur puns

Michael: just bc we know Niall Horan doesn't make it funny

Ashton: YOU KNOW NIALL HORAN?

Luke: we know all of 1D

Ashton: WHAT

Luke: we know a lot of celebs

Luke: Like All Time Low

Ashton: All Time Low??? are yOU KIDDING ME?!

Ashton: I LOVE ATL SOO MUCH

Ashton: this is unfair

Michael: life is unfair

Ashton: miCHAEL WHY HAVEN'T YOU LIKE PRESENTED ME OR SOMETHING :(

Michael: because you'd be the cringe, clingy fan

Michael: besides I'm not gonna drag your ass to states just so you can say hi and be awkward

Ashton: IM NOT AWKWARD

Michael: you really are

Ashton: but still!!!!

Michael: Ashton you can get really awkward, more awkward than the people who joins xfactor believing they can sing when they really can't

Ashton: shut the fuck up

Ashton: you're a stupid cunt

Ashton: shut the fuck up

Ashton: you're a fucking fag, suck my dick

Michael: real mature

Calum: very charming

Ashton: Calum will you present me to atl, or at least Alex

Calum: fuck no

Ashton: well fuck you

Ashton: I guess I won't meet them :(

Ashton: unless...

Luke: no.

Ashton: luuuukeeeee pleeeeaaseeee

Luke: no.

Ashton: pretty please

Luke: no.

Ashton: pretty please with sugar on it

Luke: no.

Ashton: Why not?

Luke: idk u

Ashton: so if you knew me you would?

Luke: no.

Ashton: why are y'all playing hard to get?

Luke: so Michael what you think of the weather?

Michael: wtf u doin??

Michael: wait I see what you're doing

Michael: Yes it was very nice, right Cal?

Ashton: guys

Calum: oh yes, very nice indeed

Calum: We're very lucky with the weather

Ashton: hello

Luke: hopefully I can get some tan

Michael: bruhh you're a white boi

Luke: talk for yourself vampire

Ashton: why are you ignoring me

Michael: I wish I was as tan as Cal

Luke: same

Ashton: luke you purposely changed the conversation

Ashton: why aren't you replying to my messages

Ashton: I know you read them

Ashton: you're really childish

Luke: says the guy singing "shut the fuck up"

Michael: Luuuukeee, we were ignoring him, remember

Luke: oh right

Luke: I mean who?

Luke: as far as I know, this chat only has three members, me, you, cal.

Calum: what is this mysterious fourth member y'all been talking 'bout

Michael: idk, I think it's a glitch

Luke: or a bot

Calum: the three musketeers forever

Michael: one for all

Luke: all for one

Ashton: I hate you all.

Ashton just left the chat

Luke: do you think we were a little bit rude?

Michael: nah, he'll be fine

Calum: idk man. He seemed upset

Luke: Let's cheer him up!

Michael: I think we're the last people he wants to see right now.

Luke: Let's just invite him back in the chat.

Calum: yeah

Michael invited Ashton in the chat

Ashton just left the chat

Michael: Ok, maybe it's a little worse than I thought it was

Calum: he's just playing hard to get

Calum invited Ashton in the chat

Ashton just left the chat

Michael invited Ashton in the chat

Ashton just left the chat

Calum invited Ashton in the chat

Ashton: Invite me one more time into the chat, and I'll block everyone

Ashton just left the chat

Luke: yikes

Calum: Luke, he's your bf talk to him

Luke: we haven't even met face to face???

Luke: Michael's the one who knows him

Calum: are we still going to Michael's?

Luke: oh right, he broke up with his gf

Michael: idk, you don't have to

Luke: now we know we have to

Luke: just look at that message ^

Calum: we'll bring pizza

Michael: idk man if I'm up for it

Calum: yep, we're going

Luke: we can invite Ashton

Calum: yes finally you can meet your boyfriend face to face!!

Calum: and we can apologize

Luke: HES NOT MY BF

Calum: denial stage much

Luke: maybe I'll leave early, and Ashton too if he joins, so you can do the frickle-frackle with Mike

Michael: Now that would make feel better ;))))

Calum: Stop with the rape face

Luke: he didn't say no

Calum: shut up, me and mike are friends. Just that

Luke: oof friendzoned

Michael: friends with benefits

Calum: maybe I'm not going

Luke: but pizza

Calum: I'm sold

Luke: Mike invite Ash

Michael: he's declining my calls

Calum: Luke you try

Luke: ugh, why me

Calum: BECAUSE HE

Luke: if you say "is my bf" I will end you

Calum: heheh

Calum: THINKS YOU ARE HOT

Luke: fine I'll talk to him

Calum: yessss

***

Luke: Hey Ash

Ashton: why'd you dm me?

Ashton: I'm not going back to the group

Luke: why not?

Ashton: because y'all just a bunch of assholes

Luke: ouch

Luke; But actually we're having a "cheer up Michael gathering bc his gf broke up with him" and we wanted you to join :)

Ashton: no.

Luke: why not?

Ashton: because you're rude

Ashton: I guess fame makes you an asshole

Luke: nope :)

Luke: we are actually really nice

Ashton: yeah right

Luke: well I'll prove you otherwise

Ashton: how?

Luke: come with me, cal and mike

Ashton no thanks

Luke: there will be pizza

Ashton: tempting but no

Luke: please

Ashton: Ok, since you're asking so nicely I decided

Ashton: not to come

Luke: dammit

Luke: I really got my hopes up

Luke: you already know Mike, and he's honestly the worst. Me and Cal are cool lads, at least I am

Ashton: no.

Luke: Why not?

Ashton: I don't want to

Luke: why??

Ashton: because you have known each other for so long. You play in a band together, and you are like best friends. AND you three are all famous celebs, and I'm just an ordinary guy, and I think it would be really awkward for me, so I'll pass.

Luke: c'mon it won't be awkward, it'll be fun

Luke: how can you say no

Ashton: because I'd much rather spend my time at home with Netflix than awkward silence

Luke: I'll make sure you're not left out

Luke: please come

Ashton: fine

Luke: wait really???

Ashton. Yeah, I mean you'd make me anyway

Luke: yes, you know me so well :)

Ashton: Actually I don't

Luke: you will soon enough

Ashton: what is that supposed to mean???

Luke: ;)))))

Luke: oh and I'm inviting you back into the group

Ashton: ugh fine

***

Luke: HE'S COMING

Calum: YAS

Michael: how'd you convince him?

Michael: did you send him dick pics??

Luke: no??

Luke: I just asked really nicely, and when he got tired of my spamming he agreed.

Michael: hmm, still thinks nudes were involved

Luke: it wasn't

Michael: whatever you say

Luke invited Ashton to the chat

Luke: welcome back

Michael: wait for it

Ashton: wait for what?

Calum: yeah, wtf mike

Michael: just a little more now

Luke: ????

Ashton: wtf are you talking about?

Michael: oh shit

Luke: what?

Michael: it didn't happen

Ashton: what were you waiting for

Michael: Ashton to leave the chat

Ashton: well I didn't

Ashton: so fail

Michael: what if I were to remove you from the group??

Luke: why would you do that?

Michael: so I'd be right

Calum: why

Calum. You're not even straight so?

Michael: good point

Michael: let's fuck

Luke: Michael stop being so blunt

Luke: Calum clearly doesn't want it..

Calum: exactly

Luke: ..to be a one night stand

Calum: wait what

Luke: he's in for a long term relationship

Calum: god can you stfu

Ashton: what happened to: "cheer up Michael gathering bc his gf broke up with him"

Calum: what is a cheer up Michael gathering bc his gf broke up with him?

Luke: exactly what it says

Michael: when did we talk about that?

Luke: we didn't

Luke: me and ash

Calum: me and ash, me and ash. Nowadays it's always me and ash

Ashton: Ash and I**

Luke: two things. 1) now it's fucking not Calum, we haven't even met, stupid cow. 2) Ashton no one likes a know-it-all

Ashton: no one likes stupid people

Luke: too bad Calum

Calum: fuck u m8, i kno gramamar

Luke: uhh no?

Luke: just look at your own spelling

Luke: like how tf did you write grammar?

Luke: gramamamamamamar

Calum I h8 u

Luke: no you love me :-P

Ashton: I hate that fucking nose.

Luke: WHATS YOUR PROBLEM WITH THE NOSE

Ashton: it looks ugly ok?

Ashton: emoji's don't have a nose

Luke: but we do :-)

Luke: :-.)

Luke: look it has beauty spot

Ashton: don't make me facepalm

Luke: guys wane hear the best joke ever?

Michael: sure go ahead

Calum: you know the joke will be terrible right

Michael: stfu and let him tell the joke

Luke: why did Luke Hemmings trip?

Ashton: idk why?

Luke: he wasn't lukeing where he was going

Michael. BAHAHAHAHAHGAHAH fantastic

Ashton: that was literally the WORST joke ever

Luke: fuck you, you're just jealous, Irlose

Ashton: original and hilarious

Luke: I thought so too

Calum: uhh guys? Michael is sad happening, pizza party, roast the ex-gf gathering?

Luke: ohhhh right, fuck.

Luke: we're coming over right now, if not we'll be lost in another convo

Calum: fine with me

Luke: Ashton do you want me to pick you up or something?

Ashton: uhm no, I'm fine, thanks

Luke: You sure?

Ashton: yes very

Luke: really?

Ashton: yes

Luke: whatever, I'm picking you up, text me your address, I'll tell you when I'm on my way

Michael: they are cute

Calum: Ik

Michael: see ya guys

Michael: ohh and Calum bring pizza

Calum: but we're ordering when we're there??

Michael: but I'm hungry now

Calum: not my fault

Michael: please

Calum: fine I'll buy you a sandwich on my way

Michael: Thanks babe

Calum: no problem

Ashton: Cute ^

Luke: ik, last time I asked Calum if he could do something for me he said fuck you bitch and walked away

***

Ashton stood outside of his apartment complex, waiting for Luke to pick him up. Honestly, it was a bad idea. Waiting for a celebrity to pick him up was a bad idea, going to a "cheer Michael up because his girlfriend broke up with him" was a bad idea. The whole gathering was a bad idea. Ashton didn't know the two out of three people, and the last one he started to doubt if he actually knew him or not. Seeing, as he didn't know Michael was a famous guitarist in a more famous band.

Was Ashton just a bad friend, or was he just stupid? How could he not know that his friend Michael Clifford, played guitar in a band, and was famous? How was it not possible not to make the connection? Michael was from Australia, played in a band and traveled around the globe, he had the same fucking last name as the guitarist in 5 Seconds of Summer, yet Ashton wasn't able to pull two and two together.

Sure, Ashton really didn't care much for that kind of music. Ashton rarely listened to pop music, and if you asked him what was on the top charts, he probably wouldn't know. Because Ashton's taste in music was anything but mainstream. The brunet could listen to popular tracks now and then, however he preferred his head in the 90s and early 2000.   
Maybe that was the reason Ashton was unable to know how his friend was fucking famous.

However, Ashton was not a fan of One Direction, but he could easily tell who Harry Styles was, and probably spot Niall Horran walking past him on the street. To be honest, Ashton was just disappointed in himself, but also Mikey, for not telling him.

A black car pulled up in his driveway, and Ashton could tell the car was expensive just by looking at it. Nervously Ashton looked down at his outfit, unsure if he was dressed for the occasion. Sure, it was just hanging out with Mikey and some guys, so he was dressed in ripped skinny jeans and a band t-shirt. But it'd be embarrassing if the others were dressed in much fancier clothes, than his cheap, everyday clothing.   
He tried to tell himself he didn't really care, but that would be lying.

The car stopped, and out the car came a beautiful blond. Sure, Ashton had Google searched 5 Seconds of Summer and seen a lot pictures of not only Michael, but also Luke and what he assumed was Calum. But none of the pictures did really any justice for Luke. The blond was more gorgeous than any picture could ever show.

"Hey mate," he greeted, and Ashton had to remind himself not to stare at the tall, sexy blond. Fuck, he was probably staring, but only a fool could take his eyes off Luke.

"Uhm, hi," Ashton replied, and even though he only said a word, still managed to fuck it up. Ashton hated himself; he just wanted to crawl under a big rock and stay there, to spare himself from further embarrassment.

"I'm sorry if we acted like dicks in the group chat, we're actually pretty nice when you get to know us," the apology seemed sincere, but Ashton still hated Luke apologizing to him. Honestly, Ashton just overreacted, which lead to all this mess. If Ashton just had been such a drama queen he probably wouldn't be embarrassing himself in front of the most stunning human being ever.

Ashton laughed a nervous laugh before answering, "it's ok. I was just overreacting." The brunet was unsure if he wanted to applaud himself for not fucking up the sentence or cry because it this was so fucking awkward. At least to him. Truth is Ashton hated being ignored, and it brought up a lot bad memories when someone ignored him. Sure, the band couldn't possibly know that, they were just joking around. Ashton still dreaded it though.

Being ignored was maybe Ashton's worst nightmare, he absolutely hated it. Nothing was worse than that, and the cause of Ashton hating it all so much was probably of past experiences of being ignored. Again, Luke and Calum couldn't know this. How could they? They'd never met him, Michael couldn't either because Ashton didn't like talking about.  
Ashton hated to admit it, because he seemed so desperate for attention, when Ashton in reality just needed a reassurance that people wasn't going to leave him.

"Let's go," Ashton said, and Luke nodded allowing his blond hair locks swinging when his head moved. The blue eyed male was confused for a second if he should hold the door open for Ashton or not, but for after a moment he realized it maybe would be weird, seeing as he never actually met the guy before now. Luke got in the car, Ashton following his movement. It didn't take long before Luke was driving out of Ashton's neighbourhood, and heading towards Michael's place.

"I like your t-shirt," Luke complimented. Ashton was sure his face reddened, and looked down at his Nirvana t-shirt smiling. He liked that particular t-shirt as well.

"Thanks," Ashton smiled, "Nirvana fan?"

"Of course," Luke replied, "Kurt is my God."

"Yeah, he was a talented man, too bad he died so early," somehow, it was easy to talk to Luke, maybe because Ashton got to talk about one of his favourite bands.

"Yeah, I wish I lived in the 90s, so many good bands made good, real, music. So sad I can never see them live." It seemed like this fact saddened Luke, and Ashton knew exactly how he felt.

"I know what you mean, mate," Ashton replied. Too many times to count Ashton would state he was born in the wrong decade.

"So what's your favourite album of Nirvana?" Luke asked Ashton.

"It has to be Nevermind, love that one," Ashton replied easily. "A real shame they only gave out three albums, I'd love for them to make more music."

"Yeah, same."

"What's your favourite album?"

"Nevermind as well, though In utero comes on a close second place. Favourite song?"

"Hm, maybe In bloom. It's funny that song was actually going to be named after a friend's diarrhoea medicine."

"Really, I didn't know that. My favourite song is probably Polly."

The conversation went easily from there. Ashton forgot Luke was a famous celebrity, he was just a guy with a passion for music. And a guy with good music taste. Ashton could probably sit in the ridiculously, comfortable car all day to talk about music, but when Luke parked outside of Michael's Ashton remembered why they were there in the first place, and gulped.

It was easy to forget Luke was famous, because Ashton was so caught up the conversation, but it probably wouldn't be as easy with three famous people surrounding him. Ashton thought he was doing a good job at hiding the fact he was nervous, but Luke must have noticed when he started talking, calming Ashton down. Well at least trying to.

"Hey, it'll be ok, you already know Mike, and Cal isn't that bad. Just because we're famous doesn't mean we're not human."

"I know, I'm not nervous," Ashton lied, and even though Luke didn't argue with him he gave Ashton a look telling him that he knew he lied. The two males got out of the car and walked towards Michael's house. The two of them walked in the door, without ringing the bell or giving Michael any warning they were entering his home.  
If it was up to Ashton they'd probably ring the bell, but Luke who travelled across the globe with Michael, who knew him on a whole different level, didn't need to.

"Hey Mike, Ash and I are here," Luke screamed out dragging Ashton with him around the house. Ashton didn't know why, but it made him feel giddy inside when Luke called him Ash. Though it seemed like Luke didn't put more thought into it. The two of them walked into the living room, finding not only Michael, but also Calum.

"Wow, I'm gonna pretend I didn't see that," Luke said covering his eyes. And that's the story of how Ashton and Luke walked in on Calum and Michael making out on Michael's couch.

"Well," Ashton coughed, "to me it doesn't seem like you need to be cheered up."

***

Ashton: Luke, I'm you father

Luke: Does that make you my daddy?

Ashton: eW NO!

Luke: It's ok baby, I can be yours

Ashton: I don't want a daddy. You ruined my star wars reference

Luke: You sure?

Ashton: yes, very thank you

Luke: I know you have I daddy kink

Ashton: I don't?

Luke: You don't have to lie

Ashton: I'm not

Luke: whatever you say princess

Ashton: Stfu I hate you

Luke: That's not what u were screaming last night ;)

Ashton: I was home all night bro..

Luke: Wait..

Luke: So ur sayin I didn't meet u at the bar?

Ashton: No..?

Luke: sHIT

Ashton: I can't believe u cheated on me, I feel like this relationship needs a break

Luke: Don't worry, he wasn't that good

Ashton: ...

Luke: Jk jk, chill. I was home all night bc Mikey, you should know that

Ashton: Ik baby

Luke: bABY

Luke: are we just going to ignore that we are totally in love and a couple

Ashton: But we aren't

Luke: But you called me baby

Luke: AND you called us a relationship

Ashton. Bruh I've seen you once

Ashton: which was like yesterday

Ashton: I think you need to slow down

Luke: okok, you wanna go slow

Ashton: That's not what I said..

Ashton: you keep taking my words and putting them in another context

Ashton: making it seem like I said something different

Ashton: it's like I'm saying my throat is burning, and you're saying my throat is on fire

Luke: You are my fire

Luke: the one desire

Ashton: are you quoting backstreet boys?

Luke: Maybe ;)

Ashton: Tell me why?

Luke: Oh no

Luke: You didn't

Ashton: I did

Luke: I can't tell you how much I love you rn

Ashton: Never took you as the type to listen to Backstreet boys

Luke: they are cool

Luke: not my jam tho

Ashton: I enjoy some songs, but it stops there ig

Luke: omg we are meant to be

Ashton: how about no

Luke: why are you always playing hard to get?

Ashton: more like not wanna be caught

Luke: Am I original?

Ashton: yeah ig

Luke: Am I the only one?

Ashton: the only idiot I talk to? I usually prefer smart people

Ashton: so yeah??

Luke: Am I sexual?

Ashton: not sexy, but perverted yes

Luke: Am I everything you need?

Ashton: Far from it hun

Luke: YOU ARE RUINING MY BACKSTREET BOYS QUOTING!

Ashton: sorry not sorry

Ashton: well you ruined my star wars reference so we're square ig

Luke: But I am your daddy :'(

Ashton: No to the hell

Luke: I don't care what you did, as long as you love me

Ashton: I don't love you bro

Luke: why do you keep breaking my heart

Ashton: I don't care

Luke: :((

Ashton: you're not doing the nose

Luke: ik

Ashton: why?

Luke: I changed my personality so you'd like me more

Ashton: so by not doing a nose you thought I would like you better?

Luke: yes

Luke: did it work?

Ashton: no

Luke god damn it

Luke: please go on a date with me

Ashton: you're desperate

Luke: I'm serious

Ashton: sure

Luke: wait really?

Ashton: I'm gonna regret it, but sure

Luke: Lashton gone real

Ashton: stop sounding like Michael or I'm gonna decline

Luke: I'm sorry please take me bask

Ashton: fine whatever


End file.
